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I worked my way through college, and as I did so...I fished using second hand stuff and a beat up old canoe held together only by faith and shoe goo...and a twenty year old pick-up truck that could never manage more than ten miles without having to stop for a breather.
I reckoned that when I graduated university, things would be much better and I would be able to afford to live more fully into my passion.
And so I dreamed...I dreamed of exotic locations to fly fish, I dreamed of fly fishing boats, I dreamed of fly rods that were as much about art as they were about fishing...I waited patiently for the day that I could get a real job and could really get down to the business of fly fishing.
And its funny how things have a way of working out...I never anticipated that graduating university and getting a real job would also mean getting more real bills, and other real responsibilities that would eat into my dream.
And so I moved to Atlanta...my dream still on hold...still holding on to beaten and battered second hand gear praying each and every day that they hold on just a little longer before giving up the ghost.
And it was in Atlanta that I met other fly-fishermen: fisherman upon fisherman coming down to the Chattahoochee river after work to fly fish.
As I met more and more of them, I got more and more bitter. Some of them had just gotten started in the sport one week prior- but yet they had spent thousands and thousands of dollars on equipment and training...they had booked exotic trips...
They were living the dream...they were living my dream on a whim. So, something I had worked hard at all of my life...something I had saved for for years...was nothing more than a passing fancy for others.
I so I harbored thoughts about them. And thoughts that were not pleasant.
I had born the burden and the heat of the day...and they had not. It was not fair.
Now I know all of us aren't fly-fishermen...but I bet all of us at one time or another have harbored those types of feelings...all of us have felt we have borne the burden and the heat of the day...while others have not.
Perhaps someone eats nothing but junk food and never works out, but yet has the perfect body...
Or, someone is successful in business with little or no effort...someone has not paid their dues....
Somebody somewhere has not had to work as hard to achieve the same results and somebody, somewhere thinks it is not fair.
And if you think it is limited to success or figures or fly fishing...you are mistaken. Cries of ‘its not fair' extend in to the Christian Church just as easily.
One of my favorite topics of discussion at Bible Study deals with Saint Dismas. Dismas was the thief crucified at the right hand of Our Lord. He is credited with saying, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom."
At the very last moment of his life, he asked Jesus for mercy, and he received the reward of Salvation.
And this always seems to cause agitation. "That's not fair!" someone will say.
"Why do I bother being good, why do I bother going to church every Sunday when all I have to do is ask Jesus to remember me at the last moment of my life and everything will be O.K."
So we become bitter because we have had to work at being Christian our whole lives and someone, who, at the very end gets the same reward we struggled for for a lifetime... "its not fair."
And there are still other instances of bitterness and envy in the Christian Church...instances that are much more dangerous.
There have been times and places where people actually harbored bitterness and envy at the happiness of others. People who had vibrant and successfully ministries were at the center of scorn.
Others would look on them and their happiness, not with joy and love, but with ill will. The time has even occurred when someone has gone out of their way to work to make others unhappy in church communities...
Murmuring and posturing and ill will unfortunately occur even in the most sacred of communities.
I have myself, from time to time become bitter about the success of others in the Church.
When I first got out of seminary, I was assigned to two struggling mission churches 45 minutes apart. I worked 70 hours a week, and put over 4,000 miles a month on my poor car.
I would met with other priests I had graduated with...who were assigned to wealthy parishes, and who were given all sorts of tools to help them along.
And all the while, I toiled away, bearing the burden and the heat of the day with almost nothing...and from time to time I would become self-righteous, look upon my brethren with contempt...they had it made, and I did not.
But what really and truly lies at the heart of all of this bitterness and ill will...all of this murmuring and posturing...what lies at the heart of all of this is the sin of pride.
It was pride that made me think that I was worse off than my brethren or that I deserved more because I had worked harder.
It was the sin of pride that made my look upon others and think they did not deserve what they had gotten.
And it is the sin of pride in the other cases as well. When someone wishes and works for misfortune for others in their community...when someone murmurs and postures to try and tear down what others have built...what other enjoy- it is the sin of pride.
When we look at the happiness and fortune of others, and think less of them for it...when the happiness and success of others makes us unhappy and bitter...it is time to examine our souls, to repent and rid ourselves of the sin of pride.
A closer look at today's parable. The owner of the Vineyard is God Almighty. The Vineyard itself is the Kingdom of God, and of course, we are the workers. And our pay, the wage for our work, is Salvation...is a loving and life giving relationship with God Himself.
And I think a closer look at the workers is also helpful. Notice that the ones who were hired later are not lazy...are not hooligans. They were looking for work and could not find it...that is, they could not find it until later in the day...later in the day when the landowner goes looking for them.
And they receive the same pay- Salvation. And let us stop and think about what the labourers who were already in the vineyard were working at any way...or, what is the work of the Kingdom of God?
The answer is this: to win lost souls to Jesus Christ. And the sin of pride does nothing to help us in working to that end.
When we look on the fortune and happiness of others...let us not do so with bitterness and envy...let us not work to make others unhappy...let us never think ourselves better than or more deserving than another.
For these are the things that fill our heart with pride and tear us from what we should be working towards, the salvation of all.
So let us rid ourselves of bitterness and envy...let us rid ourselves of pride and rejoice in the happiness and the work and the salvation of others...
09/21/2008
Ninetenth Sunday after Pentecost
by Fr. Jeff
'These last have wrought but one hour, and thou hast made them equal unto us, which have borne the burden and heat of the day.' (St. Mathew 20.12 KJV)
Growing up I had an uncontrollable passion for fly-fishing. Unfortunately, my station in life didn't allow me to fully live into that passion.I worked my way through college, and as I did so...I fished using second hand stuff and a beat up old canoe held together only by faith and shoe goo...and a twenty year old pick-up truck that could never manage more than ten miles without having to stop for a breather.
I reckoned that when I graduated university, things would be much better and I would be able to afford to live more fully into my passion.
And so I dreamed...I dreamed of exotic locations to fly fish, I dreamed of fly fishing boats, I dreamed of fly rods that were as much about art as they were about fishing...I waited patiently for the day that I could get a real job and could really get down to the business of fly fishing.
And its funny how things have a way of working out...I never anticipated that graduating university and getting a real job would also mean getting more real bills, and other real responsibilities that would eat into my dream.
And so I moved to Atlanta...my dream still on hold...still holding on to beaten and battered second hand gear praying each and every day that they hold on just a little longer before giving up the ghost.
And it was in Atlanta that I met other fly-fishermen: fisherman upon fisherman coming down to the Chattahoochee river after work to fly fish.
As I met more and more of them, I got more and more bitter. Some of them had just gotten started in the sport one week prior- but yet they had spent thousands and thousands of dollars on equipment and training...they had booked exotic trips...
They were living the dream...they were living my dream on a whim. So, something I had worked hard at all of my life...something I had saved for for years...was nothing more than a passing fancy for others.
I so I harbored thoughts about them. And thoughts that were not pleasant.
I had born the burden and the heat of the day...and they had not. It was not fair.
Now I know all of us aren't fly-fishermen...but I bet all of us at one time or another have harbored those types of feelings...all of us have felt we have borne the burden and the heat of the day...while others have not.
Perhaps someone eats nothing but junk food and never works out, but yet has the perfect body...
Or, someone is successful in business with little or no effort...someone has not paid their dues....
Somebody somewhere has not had to work as hard to achieve the same results and somebody, somewhere thinks it is not fair.
And if you think it is limited to success or figures or fly fishing...you are mistaken. Cries of ‘its not fair' extend in to the Christian Church just as easily.
One of my favorite topics of discussion at Bible Study deals with Saint Dismas. Dismas was the thief crucified at the right hand of Our Lord. He is credited with saying, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your Kingdom."
At the very last moment of his life, he asked Jesus for mercy, and he received the reward of Salvation.
And this always seems to cause agitation. "That's not fair!" someone will say.
"Why do I bother being good, why do I bother going to church every Sunday when all I have to do is ask Jesus to remember me at the last moment of my life and everything will be O.K."
So we become bitter because we have had to work at being Christian our whole lives and someone, who, at the very end gets the same reward we struggled for for a lifetime... "its not fair."
And there are still other instances of bitterness and envy in the Christian Church...instances that are much more dangerous.
There have been times and places where people actually harbored bitterness and envy at the happiness of others. People who had vibrant and successfully ministries were at the center of scorn.
Others would look on them and their happiness, not with joy and love, but with ill will. The time has even occurred when someone has gone out of their way to work to make others unhappy in church communities...
Murmuring and posturing and ill will unfortunately occur even in the most sacred of communities.
I have myself, from time to time become bitter about the success of others in the Church.
When I first got out of seminary, I was assigned to two struggling mission churches 45 minutes apart. I worked 70 hours a week, and put over 4,000 miles a month on my poor car.
I would met with other priests I had graduated with...who were assigned to wealthy parishes, and who were given all sorts of tools to help them along.
And all the while, I toiled away, bearing the burden and the heat of the day with almost nothing...and from time to time I would become self-righteous, look upon my brethren with contempt...they had it made, and I did not.
But what really and truly lies at the heart of all of this bitterness and ill will...all of this murmuring and posturing...what lies at the heart of all of this is the sin of pride.
It was pride that made me think that I was worse off than my brethren or that I deserved more because I had worked harder.
It was the sin of pride that made my look upon others and think they did not deserve what they had gotten.
And it is the sin of pride in the other cases as well. When someone wishes and works for misfortune for others in their community...when someone murmurs and postures to try and tear down what others have built...what other enjoy- it is the sin of pride.
When we look at the happiness and fortune of others, and think less of them for it...when the happiness and success of others makes us unhappy and bitter...it is time to examine our souls, to repent and rid ourselves of the sin of pride.
A closer look at today's parable. The owner of the Vineyard is God Almighty. The Vineyard itself is the Kingdom of God, and of course, we are the workers. And our pay, the wage for our work, is Salvation...is a loving and life giving relationship with God Himself.
And I think a closer look at the workers is also helpful. Notice that the ones who were hired later are not lazy...are not hooligans. They were looking for work and could not find it...that is, they could not find it until later in the day...later in the day when the landowner goes looking for them.
And they receive the same pay- Salvation. And let us stop and think about what the labourers who were already in the vineyard were working at any way...or, what is the work of the Kingdom of God?
The answer is this: to win lost souls to Jesus Christ. And the sin of pride does nothing to help us in working to that end.
When we look on the fortune and happiness of others...let us not do so with bitterness and envy...let us not work to make others unhappy...let us never think ourselves better than or more deserving than another.
For these are the things that fill our heart with pride and tear us from what we should be working towards, the salvation of all.
So let us rid ourselves of bitterness and envy...let us rid ourselves of pride and rejoice in the happiness and the work and the salvation of others...
